Dookie.

I've often wondered if everyone has the same issues with their kids that I have with mine. The main problem  we run into is pooping through whatever she is wearing. I know all kids do it from time to time. But is it normal for it to happen every time you go to a certain place?

For instance, anytime we go to my grandfather's house, my precious little Robbie Jo craps everywhere. It never fails. She'll be laying in the same spot, in the same position, within an hour of us arriving at the house, and she drops the brown note.

At first I thought her diapers were too tight, or maybe it was because she was laying on her belly. But now, I'm starting to think that this is some kind of ritual of hers. We visit my grandpa a couple of times a week. And every time she'll poo throw 2 outfits. You can imagine how much laundry we do.

What's worse is, it took me forever to think "Hey I can just pop these clothes in the washer while I'm here.". So my kid had to ride home in just a diaper a couple of times.

Maybe this is her way of saying "Hey Pa, your house is crappy!"? 

I hope not. That is awful rude.

Holly Jolly, Oh Forget It.

Hello there! It's been quite awhile since I've posted anything. Mostly because life got busy, but also, I haven't been able to come up with anything to write about, and I got lazy. This blog is a lot of work.

Tell me, what's going on? I haven't done much lately, but at the same time I've been super busy. It's funny how life works. And everyone can attest to that.

Anywhozier, today I think I'll share with you my thoughts on the holiday season and my panic as I try to come up with ideas for homemade gifts.

I dislike this time of the year. Not necessarily because of the holidays, and partly because of the cold, and possible winter weather. I hate cold, snow, sleet, freezing rain, wintry mix. You get the idea. So the season is a bitter pill for me to swallow. This year is no exception. We've already had snow. BEFORE THANKSGIVING. What kind of crap is that?!

I am looking forward to the actual holidays. Sort of. My family is getting together at my grandfather's house for Thanksgiving. I enjoy seeing everyone. And of course food. But Pa's house is a rather small venue to host such a large family. We end up elbow to elbow standing room only, and it gets crazy hot in the house. I guess that is the price you pay for family and a free meal right? I do get to show off my kid though. While she is not the youngest of the grandkids, she will be the youngest in attendance. And the cutest, in my opinion. This means all eyes will be on her. And I enjoy when people talk about how my baby is soooo good and sooooo pretty and sooo happy. Win for team me.

The part I am not looking forward to as much is Christmas. It's a joyous holiday. I like all the activities leading up to the actual celebration. But it's basically a repeat of Thanksgiving, but with presents. While everyone likes giving and receiving gifts, I'm certain we can all agree on how expensive it is becoming to get something for everyone. This makes it difficult to buy for anyone. Cameron and I always try to spend the same amount on each gift we give, that is assuming we don't make the gifts, that way we don't spend much. However, there's not a great lot you can buy for under $20.00 that is of decent quality.

This year I intend to make something for everyone. But I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas. Pinterest has given me some inspiration for all the women and older girls gifts, but men, boys, and very young girls are a different story. Especially when there's a HUGE group of children under the age of 2 in your family. So I'm thinking cookies for the ones who have teeth, and lumps of coal for all the other babies. Robbie Jo included.

Not really.

True story though. I did give Cameron's grandfather "lumps of coal" for Christmas a couple of years ago. They were peppermint cookies that I put black food coloring in. I got the idea from Pinterest. There was a note attached that read something like "You've been naughty, not nice. Santa checked his list twice. So all the way from the North Pole, you're getting lumps of coal.". Those cookies were thoroughly appreciated.

I'm also not looking forward to the fact that come December, my baby will be 6 months old. HALF A YEAR OLD. Why do they grow so fast?

Anyway. Holidays. So stressful. I need a bottle of wine just thinking about it. If anyone has any good ideas for homemade gifts, shoot them my way please. This is me signing off so I can go scour Pinterest.

Hello Again World.

Hello again. I've been neglecting my writing duties lately. There's been a huge list of reasons why, but mostly I just didn't know what to write about. I still don't know what to write about. So bare with me whilst I ramble on.

Let me catch you up a little. The baby is now 3 months old. She can hold her head up steadily, roll over from her back to her belly, and from her belly to her back, and she can sit up pretty well with assistance. She sleeps a whopping 8-9 hours a night. (Insert loud bragging to unlucky parents.) However she's started a nasty thumb sucking habit =|. I however, have done a lot of absolutely nothing. 

Aaaand I developed a nasty addiction to The Golden Girls and The Nanny reruns. I already had the problem with The Nanny, I love Fran Drescher so much. But my love for Bea, Estell, Rue, and Betty is a little disturbing. It's greater than my Redbull problem, which is REALLY bad. I need rehab for it, literally.

Anyway, I'm finding out that around the 3 month mark kids turn into little humans. Not that they weren't humans before, but it's like they hit 3 months and start doing stuff. They coo, play, roll around, smile, laugh, and if they're my kid the squeal SOOO FREAKING LOUD. She only does it all the time. It's great though. 

Along with all this stuff, everything has to go directly into her mouth. So gross. Oh you're wiping my nose with that baby wipe, IT GOES IT MY MOUTH TO CHEW ON! NO, I DONT CARE THAT IT HAS BOOGERS ON IT!

Last week she and I both had a nasty stomach virus. I was so worried she was going to use her super human baby speed to get a handful of poo and pop that in her mouth while I changed her. Luckily she never did that. And I changed about a thousand dirty diapers while we were sick. Now I'm just waiting for her to start eating the dogs food. Oh joy.

I'm hoping that she'll slow down a little on putting things in her mouth, but from what I understand, it doesn't get any better. Let's just hope I don't go to change a diaper and find a penny.

Mom: Why We Love Her.

My mother is pretty cool. She raised three kids completely on her own, is obsessed with health and fitness, teaches Zumba, runs half marathons and 5ks, and places in the top three at the 5ks, has a huge knowledge for crap no one cares about (this must be where I got that talent from), is a gifted writer, is always open to offer up advice about anything, and is the grandmother who sends cards/candy/loud toys to her grandchildren at every holiday because she's out to spoil the kids and drive the parents nuts.

That's a big list of cool stuff to love her for, but that's not even the tip of the iceberg.

This past Thursday was my mom's 58th birthday. It was a good day, but at the same time it was particularly rough. My newest niece was born (that's a good part, obviously), but my grandfather was in the hospital, preparing for a surgery that could have very well ended his life, and then we ate at a Mexican joint that didn't serve margaritas. Terrible, how can you eat fajitas and not wash them down with tequila?! Anyway.

My mom, being herself, had to be everywhere at once. So off to see my brother and his family, we went. She never once let on how stressed she really was, or how she, along with everyone else, was a ball of nerves about Pa's surgery. No, instead she smiled, laughed, took a gazillion pictures, and carried on. She did the same thing, minus the pictures, when we visited Pa. 

On her feet, my Ma is admittedly, not always graceful, just watch her two step after three margaritas and a beer, but that day, she handled EVERYTHING with a grace and strength that can't be taught. Way to go Mom.

The next day was the old man's surgery. And again, everyone else had fear written all over them, but Mom on the other hand, just did her usual; handled all this business, asked questions, went with Pa to pre-op, and did it all without even a ripple in her sea of poise. I don't know how she does it. I sat there next to her just waiting, fidgeting, talking way too much and too fast, and she was calm. 

We love Ma for this. She's the glue that holds our family together. My Grandma passed that position down to my Mom many years ago, and it's a position that fits her well.

Of course there are many other things Madre is special for. For instance, her Adam Sandler version of Good King Winseslas that stops my kid from crying every time, or the rocking chair she let me borrow, that she rocked my brothers and myself in, her homemade chicken and dumplings when I catch a cold (yes 23 years old and Mommy still makes me something to eat when I'm sick), or how she remembers EVERY.LITTLE.THING. the grand kids tell her, and she buys them gifts based on what they told her. She still goes to every ball game and event she can make it to that the grand kids have. She takes amazing care of my Grandpa, her dad, which is hard because he doesn't complain unless he's starving. And the list STILL goes on.

My point for this post is, all moms are special to their families, they/we all bend over backwards at times to take care of everything, but no one has a mom like mine. Mine does it all for everyone. Always has. I know one day she'll tire of being the old bottle of Elmer's and it will be my turn, I just hope I can do half as well as she has. 

It's Only Bed Time!! These Tears Aren't Needed!! Part 2. The Mom Cryer.

Tonight's bed time was exceptionally cry-y (I couldn't think of any real adjectives to fit the situation, so made one.) Typically after I take the baby out of the bath, she cries for a little bit, (This kid LOVES bath time.), and as usual she cried some. But shortly after she calmed down, the dam broke, and dear old mom here just lost it.

It's been an emotionally charged month. Especially the last two weeks. Lots have happened, and then today we had a great event, it was my mama's birthday, and my newest niece was born late this afternoon. (By the way Baby J, the new little, is cuuuttteeee! I'm so excited!)

Seeing this new little teeny tiny made me realize how big my little teeny tiny is, and how small she was. Since she was born I have reminded myself daily to take it all in, to cherish these little times because it will go fast. Thankfully I can enjoy it to the fullest because I'm one of the few lucky moms who get to be home with their babies. But it just seems like I closed my eyes, two months passed, and now there's this big little girl with a head full of hair and the brightest smile, and I just don't know where the time went.

It all just hit me at once. I had rocked her, laid her in her crib, because I thought she was sleepy, then her pretty eyes sprang open, and the smiles and cooing started. I'm not sure what she was telling me about, but she was pretty excited. This is when I started crying.

I think she knew I wasn't really sad, just a little nostalgic, grateful, and a little stressed. So, as if to say something along the lines of "It's okay Mommy, I love you. I'll always be your baby." she gave me a big smile, a few more coos and then snuggled in to sleep.

I really didn't want to leave her side. I wanted her to keep telling me all about it. And I did stand there for a few more minutes and listened to her, but I knew it was bed time and she was clearly fighting sleep. So I turned the light off and stood in her doorway, and she talked for a few more minutes, then sighed really big and was asleep. This made me cry even more. I just love her to pieces.

This kid, she melts my heart. I never really wanted to be a mom, but then baby happened, and man, my life is 1000% fuller and happier with her here. 

I know children aren't for everyone, so I won't say that life really starts when you have kids. But, if you do have babies or will eventually, just remember to hold them tight, give them lots of love and kisses, but don't spoil them, and above all else remember that time goes so fast. So fast, that sometimes you just need to be the mom who stands in their bedroom doorway and cries about how much they love their sweet little miracle.

Becoming A Mom.

Most moms will say that their kids are the best things to happen to them. While some truly mean it, some really don't. For me, it's true my daughter coming into this world was the best thing that could happen.

Having a baby meant becoming a mom. That's not a title everyone deserves. There are women out there who are just worthless, and should not be having kids. I thought I was one of those people. 

Not because I don't care, or am lazy, or some nut job, but because I was selfish, obsessed with structure and control, and while I enjoy a good thrill, the anxiety that went with something new kept me from doing many things I wanted to do. Above all I didn't believe I had the capacity to love myself, much less a child.

Then along came Robbie Jo.

This little girl has changed me. While I'm still very selfish, I willing put her and her needs before me, like a mother should. There are many times I find myself googling all the ways to help her grow and life hacks for motherhood. I still have a need for structure, but control is now a distant, dark memory. It is no longer planning every second of every day and trying but failing to handle my life and emotions. Instead it has become order; aligning myself, my finances, my career goals. I am finding order goes with structure, much better than control ever did. I don't fear the world around me anymore. I am not scared of stepping out of my comfort zone, or the initial stress that comes with all the dreams I've always wanted to chase. But the biggest, most important change is love. 

I had never viewed myself in a positive light. She did away with that. The image I had in my head of my life, and my physical self was negative. But stretch marks, and tiny hands and feet made me realize that it's okay that I didn't go to college right out of high school, any mistakes I made in my past were just that, my past, and being a size 2 isn't going to make me happy.

Opening up my heart to myself made room for my baby and gave me the ability to grow as a person, and a mom. I know I am not done changing, that I will continue to shift and move as she and I both get older, I am ready for it, when the time comes. And one day, when she's old enough to understand, I'll tell her how she changed me and my life for the better. 

Safety In Numbers, At Walmart.

I, like everyone else, hate Walmart. Yes it saves me lots of money, but it's crowded, hot, loud, and full of tweakers. It's not very baby friendly either. Anyway I had to go buy groceries today, and I had to take the baby, by myself.

Yesterday the little lady had to get shots, so she's slept all day today, so I was thinking she would sleep the whole time we were in there, and I wouldn't need a diaper bag. I didn't take I'm the diaper bag. 

BIG MISTAKE.

She was awake the whole time, and thankfully didn't cry. But about halfway through, she pooped. Me being an idiot, I thought from the sound, and smell, that it was just a little gas, and maybe a tiny bit of poo, and it could wait until we got done. I should mention that because of the fussiness and shots she hadn't pooped yet today.

So I finish shopping, go through check out, and rush home, which is less than 5 minutes from Walmart. 

I get home, pull her out of the car seat, and am holding her, gathering up wipes and stuff, and I notice her onesie is a little wet. Okay probably pee, maybe sweat, no big deal. Mind you, I'm wearing A WHITE SHIRT. 

Again, idiot me, I have a kid. You don't wear white with kids.

I lay her down to change her, and realize why exactly that onesie was wet. That little bit of gas was a massive super poo that was long over due for the day. It filled the diaper, leaked out the sides, and was ALL OVER the car seat. How I missed that when I pulled her out, I don't know. Thankfully it didn't get on my white shirt, but now I'll never wear white again.

Boy she was proud of herself. And now I'm completely one thousand percent sure that you NEVER go into Walmart without the diaper bag, and you NEVER EVER go into Walmart without an extra person to go change that super poo or finish your shopping.

And don't wear white shirts.