Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.

Today I am coming at you from an over caffeinated state. I drank a Red Bull, and now I’m having coffee. I am pregaming for my loooonnngggg day. I’m a bundle of nerves, as I have a ton of stuff happening, and my financial well being is going to be determined by the day’s outcome. Also, we start training for the drive thru at work this week. And while I am surprised at my excitement, I am super worried about to how it is going to go the first few times.

It’s stressful. I need the boost. Don’t judge me.

Anyway, Halloween is upon us. This means I’m watching and reading everything spooky. This also means I am having crazy nightmares, because I’m a wimp.

I didn’t even watch anything scary yesterday, but I threw around the idea of reading The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer, which explains why I had horrible dreams about going to some weird estate sale and finding an original copy of an Ed and Lorraine Warren book that was about some murders and Lycanthropy that occurred in my home town.

First of all, the Warrens worked with demons. B, werewolves aren’t scary. So I’m not sure why it was so terrifying, but Lilly Rabe was in it. And she was the evil nun she played in AHS: Asylum. Except for she was actually convincing in my dream, unlike in the show.

 Side note Rabe should just stick to playing good hearted characters. She just seems too sweet to be evil.

Tonight I think I’ll watch a Disney princess movie in hopes that I don’t have any more nightmares involving the Warrens. Not that I don’t absolutely admire their work, I just don’t feel like waking up screaming again.

Sunrises, Travel, and Dreams.

Hello Dear Reader. Today has been rather rough. I woke up hangry and overwhelmed. But I’m feeling much better now that I’ve had a nice long nap. I had a hard time writing this morning. I had loads of topics, but nothing seemed to sound right once it was on paper. And then I thought, why not just ramble?

Because your mind is like one of those toys for kids in the doctor’s office with the beads that you move across the intertwined wires, Alex. That’s why we don’t ramble on the blog.

So, I guess I won’t just type whatever.

Anyway, I’m staring out my living room window right now. It’s a sunny, windy, typical Fall day in Oklahoma, and I wish I was out enjoying it. I think today would have been the perfect day for getting up before the sun, finding a place to watch the sunrise, and snapping a few pictures while drinking coffee and enjoying the stillness.

I know I talk about sunrises all the time, but morning really is my favorite time of the day. And in my opinion, sunrises are a thousand times more beautiful than sunsets. Sunsets remind me of loss and heartache. But sunrises remind me of all the possibilities and paths that are in my life. Sunrises are comforting.

I am aware of how silly that sounded. It is how I truly feel. Cut me some slack.

I think it would be amazing to travel around the country and capture the sunrise everyday. Just getting to travel a little would be amazing. The wanderer in my soul is getting a little restless lately. I haven't left Oklahoma in 3 years, and it would be a nice change of scenery to get the hell out of Mayes County and see what this world has to offer.

I’m a little envious of those who can afford to travel. It isn’t a luxury I have in my life. Having a small child and a dog means I am strapped to Mayes County for awhile. Not that that is a bad thing or that I regret it. I just wish that I would have moved around some more before I had Robbie.

My soul needs to experience something moving, and it is hard to come by such events around here. Unless of course it is a tragedy. We, unfortunately, have plenty of those to go around. I guess that is why people leave the towns the grew up in, isn't it? To escape the monotonous, and tragic.

Maybe one day I will be able to leave this area and see what is out there. For now I will just continue to watch the sunrises and stare out my living room window.

The Great PSL

It's finally Fall. Which means it's basically Halloween. Which means I'm going broke buying all the Disney Channel Halloween movies on Amazon because I HAVE to watch Halloweentown everyday and I don't have satellite anymore. Halloween is my second favorite season and holiday (Yes, Halloween is a season. Don't try to convince me otherwise). In celebration of the second most wonderful time of the year, I had my first ever Pumpkin Spice Latte yesterday. I know I'm late to the game. But cut me some slack. I like hot tea, Red Bull, and actual coffee. So steamed milk with sugary syrup was not anywhere on my radar. However, I've been embracing my inner basic white girl lately, so I gave it a shot. *haha espresso pun*

Anyway, we happened to be driving by a restaurant chain that recently launched their take on this widely popular drink, and I thought why the hell not? 

At first I wasn't terribly disappointed. It was smooth, not too hot, and had whipped cream on the top. But the more I drank of this concoction, the more I wondered what all the hype was about.

First of all, the price of a small cup is equivalent to the price of a healthy human kidney on the black market. B, it doesn't taste even remotely like pumpkin, or the spice used to jazz up pumpkin purée for pumpkin pie. Lastly, there isn't enough caffeine in it to support my habit. 

I guess I just can't taste what is so appealing to folks around the world that they would set count downs on their phones and camp out in front of Starbucks, waiting to grab the first few brews of the season. Is this just some grand marketing scheme created by the coffee industry/Starbucks? I mean they have swindled me out of a good $21ish dollars in the last couple of months with their Coconut Milk Macchiato, which is really just iced coffee poured over coconut milk, so it is reasonable that this PSL craze is all just a ploy to get us to spend our hard earned dollars on subpar coffee drinks.

While I will never understand the hype, there is clearly a reason why people all over the world flock to the Great Pumpkin Spice Latte like it is a saving grace in the fall. I'm going to get weird here and blame it on subliminal messaging, probably placed in all those Halloweentown sequels that I've been watching.

Prayers, Poo, and Coffee.

Today I have a lot on my mind. Which is basically how I am everyday. But today is different. Today I am questioning my choice of going back to work full time. See, at 5 am, Robbie woke up crying. I assume she was cold, despite the mountain of blankets and stuffed animals she keeps in her bed. I can't blame her. I was also under a mountain of blankets and I was cold. Anyway, Cameron put her in our bed and the three of us snoozed peacefully until the alarm clocks started going off an hour later, and then there were demands for "seril, stooms, ohmel, Mitkey, and chocit stawbees mahl" (20 points to Gryffindor if you can translate all of that.) In the midst of the morning demands and the rush to get Cameron out the door for work, I realized at some point Robbie's diaper had leaked all over the place.

*insert mental eye rolls, sighs of exasperation, silent cursing, and a desperate search for the package of diapers*

This is where I started questioning my sanity and my will to provide for my family. My job called to see if I could come in today (Wednesday mornings can get scary over there), and I realized Robbie is almost 2 and a half. Which basically means she should be starting to potty train. And she is. At daycare. Because, I'm.Never.Home.Because.I.Work.ALL.THE.TIME.

I changed Robbie, hung up the phone, and put all of that out of my mind because I was being yelled at for not providing the immediate Mickey Mouse fix my little fiend needed. That is, until shortly before I started writing this, when my sweet little Shugie crouched down, farted so loud the house shook, and dropped the brown note.

Except for she didn't really "drop" anything. It went straight up her back.

I'm going to attribute the upwards motion of the poo to the three or four sips of coffee that were stolen out of my mug while I was fixing breakfast. I assume it was only three or four, but judging by her wild behavior post coffee thievery...it was more. A lot more.

So there I sat, dreading the doom that was contained in my child's pants/shirt. I could only imagine how terrible it would be. I was silently praying to God that he would provide me with magical diaper changing fairies or spontaneous potty training and perfect butt wiping skills for my child. There were thoughts of how I could possibly manage to full potty train my toddler on such little parental availability. There were tears of regret. This was the end.

In my mind, judgement day had arrived. This was my punishment for all of my sins. Eternal damnation and diaper explosions. Hell was real, my friends.

As it turns out, the mess wasn't as bad as I had expected, but the incident has left me with this nagging feeling of failure since I cannot work as diligently on potty training as I'd like (Thank you, workaholic tendencies.) It has also left the foul stench of toddler coffee poo in my living room and I am unsure of how to rid my house of such an atrocious odor.

So there you have it, Dear Reader, the contents of my mind today: Hell, poo explosions, potty training, and why in the world would I choose to return to work before said potty training was over.