Successful Is Relative.

This past Saturday, my mother and I went to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping. It's always good to spend time with my mom, but I honestly could not enjoy this trip. I just couldn't shake this horrible funky feeling I had. And I still haven't gotten past it. It's Wednesday. This is ridiculous.

Anyway, I realized today why I am being plagued by the Downtown Funk. Which by the way is as catchy as the Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson (I think that's his name?), but it's not nearly as enjoyable.

When we were in the mall, we were surrounded by people who were roughly my age, and dressed like they were going to work at PR firm. They were all carrying the latest in technology in their hands while "drinking Starbucks". If you didn't know, no one actually drinks Starbucks, they just pay $8.00 for a small ass shot of espresso in some soy milk, and walk around with it to look cool.

I'm so over seeing all these "cool" people. Why? Well mostly I'm jealous. I've never been cool, I will never be cool. And partly because they all give off this vibe that they are successful, with good jobs, nice cars, big houses, and a freaking yacht at the marina. Again something I probably will not live up to.

But saying I won't live up to the term "successful" is inaccurate. Successful is relative. 

Basically, I'm jealous over something that is a total front. These people may very well really be living the dream. College educated, making a good living, and are happy. But I'm doubting it. Why? Well we are children of an age where everyone is in debt for school or cars or credit cards. 

Our parents felt it was their birth right to go to college, and so they did. They graduated, got a good job, met someone, got married, had a few kids, and then put the pressure on their children to be as "successful" as they were. 

So we go to college right out of high school, extremely naive, and immature because of the changing times, with no idea of how to actually make it in the real world. (Yes you may feel like you are very mature, and some are, but most of us early 20 somethings really aren't. We were not handed as much responsibility as our parents, and their parents. It happens, don't get offended.) So we create mountains of school debt we can't pay, party too much, try to keep up with the ever changing world, and then wake up one day to realize that we've maxed out credit cards to live like the people we see on TV. To pretend that "Hey we're doing very well. Life is great."

Not that life isn't great. To wake up everyday breathing is a blessing. But my point is we've put so much pressure on ourselves to be great leaders and stars. What happened to those small town dreams? Or not having to pretend to be something we aren't to fit in with the crowd? 

Do you feel that pressure? I know I do. I know my friends do. Cameron and I have had long conversations about it. It is there. The need, the drive, to live like kings, and wear YSL lipstick. Our parents did not intend for our generation to feel like this. They meant for us to have and do more than they did, as long as it meant we could still have simple, easy existences, and work hard.

We created the weight we feel. We did it by over sharing silly images of thigh gapped, photoshopped, high fashion models on social media, by glorifying being famous without really having to do anything to get there, songs about tigers on gold leashes, and "hanging with Molly", by refusing to accept that to float, you first have to sink a little. (That is why there are anchors on all those tattoos and pictures. Anchors sink.)

Rome was not built in a day my friends. Do not feel as though you have to have everything right this instant. Our parents and grandparents didn't just rope the moon and pull it down. They had to build ladders and send monkeys into space first. 

Successful is a relative term. You don't have to be whatever image is breaking the internet today. It is completely acceptable to be happy in the same town you grew up in with a used car, a house that you aren't dropping your whole paycheck on to make the mortgage, and going to Zumba classes twice a week because you don't want to gain more weight during the holiday season. Please, I'm begging you, find your own successful, what your soul is truly happy with.

I may be speaking for myself here, that's probable. But I think we can all agree there is a heaviness in the air. Ignore it. Go after what your heart wants, not what everyone else pretends to have. Successful is relative, remember that.