Alex Laments. Episode:75984596295627465

As usual, Alexland is just mass chaos. I know that’s why you come here, Dear Reader. My hectic life and wild thoughts are your guilty pleasures. Kind of like when you see a People magazine headline that you just can’t not look at while standing in line to check out at the grocery store, only better. Because my drama is legit.

Anyway. The last time I had written, I told you I had just received a promotion at Panera Bread and was super stoked to start training. Since then, things have just gotten wildly out of hand, like life tends to do. In this time of utter nonsense, I’m finding myself in survival mode more often than not. I think as humans, this is what we do out of habit.

Sometimes survival mode is necessary to protect your sanity, your loved ones’ sanity, and also your bank account (so you don’t spend all of your money on Red Bull and menthol cigarettes. Not that I would know, because I have never purchased either of those items EVER in my life.) But often times, if we would just look whatever is plaguing us in the face, we could avoid trudging through the days, barely keeping our heads above water.

My point in bringing this up is, I need to learn how to look my demons in the face. I was recently told by someone very dear to me that they are impressed with how I handle the stress in my personal life. To this I replied “I don’t handle anything. I just pretend nothing is happening, throw myself in to my work, sleep very little, and caffeinate too much.” While this is a good coping mechanism for the first day or so, it keeps me from growing as a person through all of my trials and tribulations.

It could also probably cause me to look like death warmed over on my first day of a new job where I really felt like I needed to dazzle everyone since I could hypothetically have previous experience in the field.

Again, not that I would know from personal experience, I just assume.

Anywho. Growing as a person from major life events is rather important, and it dawned on me earlier this evening while listening to a loved one pray, that I really needed to work on growth; and that the only way for me to grow is to either A.) put my big girl boots on and handle it, or 2.) hand whatever the problem is over to God, and trust that he is going to work it out with/for me.

Both of these options are pretty damn scary. I mean, being an adult and actually acting like one? That is not for the faint of heart. But handing over your problems to some unknown supreme being and just trusting that he’s going to help you get through whatever is happening? That feels similar to walking through the living room at night, trusting that your child picked up all the legos off the floor like you told them to do a million times before they went to bed. Terrifying, isn’t it?

All I know is, we as people have to learn to buck up. Whether that means you charge head on at whatever life throws at you or you hand it over to whatever deity of your choosing, it has to be done.

You will thank yourself later for it, and not just because you won’t be in the poorhouse for spending all of your hard earned cash on caffeinated beverages.