Welcome Home

Good morning, Dear Reader. It's been entirely too long since I've posted anything. Partly because I haven't had any inspiration, but mostly because I have been extremely busy. I'm not entirely certain where I left you, but let me catch you up. Robbie's father and I split up, I met a wonderful man named Zach, got a promotion at Panera, left Panera for a job with a credit union, got married and pregnant, got a promotion at the credit union, moved to be closer to work, and now we're two months out from my our son, Josiah, being born.

I've crammed what normal people go through in the span of like five years into roughly a year, give or take a few months.

And I couldn't be happier. I find myself thanking God daily that so much changed so quickly. No, it isn't easy by any means. Zach and I struggle daily, but I've finally found someone who knows how to handle just how neurotic I am. We actually talk about our issues, usually before they become an issue, and he loves me. He truly loves Alex and all that happens in Alexland.

Plus he is so damn handsome and he enjoys energy drinks just as much as I do. It was destiny.

Seriously though, my life has dramatically changed for the better. My credit score couldn't be worse, but my finances are stable. I'm not in constant danger of my home being ripped away from me. My daughter gained an amazing father who is kind and patient and learned all of the names of the ponies in Equestria because she loves My Little Pony. I'm excited about having another baby (and maybe one or two more in the future) even though I swore I would never have anymore kids after Robbie was born. The in-laws I gained absolutely bend over backwards to help us if and when we need it, especially my mother in law. I don't know how she puts up with us.

And it's football season. *PISTOLS FIRING!*

For the first time in my adult life, I feel that life is beautiful. How can one person be so blessed?

30 Days of Gratitude: Day One.

So I found a 30 day writing challenge on Pinterest, and I'm going to make you, dear readers, suffer through it. The challenge is supposed to be about letting gratitude into your life, which is something I try to practice daily already. So this is really just going to be about me getting in some much needed wordsmith practice. I really do hope you enjoy it though. I think it will be interesting to go down the list and talk about what I am truly grateful for. Being satisfied and thankful is a choice we have to make daily and some times the little things can slip through the cracks. I am certain this challenge will be eye and heart opening.

Day number one's prompt is "what smell are you grateful for today?" I'm not going to lie, this is going to be one of the more difficult ones for me to narrow down. I have a list of scents that are near and dear to my heart and I could go on for hours about them. Seriously, I really could. But for the sake of this challenge, I'll just write about one. The obvious choice here would be my Grandfather's cologne. If you've read just one of my posts, you know Pa was my very best friend. So I keep his cologne sitting on my vanity and I smell it when I feel sad. But that is not the one I'm going to pick!!

You didn't see that coming did ya? I'm sneaky like that.

Instead I'm going to write about what I have often thought of as the scent of my life. It is the combination of sweat, dirt, lake water, and off-road diesel. I know you're probably like where the heck did that come from? Well, I'll tell you. My absolute, hands down, all time favorite past time is riding four wheelers, specifically below the dam at Grand Lake. I spent all of my teenage years there, and a good chunk of my adult years as well, and this smell is everywhere. It is all-consuming. It is present in summer and in winter. It is almost like lifeblood for the area. If the dry side of the dam had a vein you could split, this smell would pour out.

So why am I thankful for it? Because it was the scent of my first real relationship, which taught me to love. It is the smell of heartbreak and bad tattoos. It is the smell of warm bud light and Marlboro menthols. It is the smell of money and time spent. It is the smell that helped shape who I am now. It is forever in my memory and heart. If I had never smelled it, been bathed in it, all but worshipped it, I would have never had the hell of a journey I've had in my 25 years. I would have never met Cameron. I wouldn't have Robbie Jo. I would have never learned to live loud and bold.

So you can see, this dirty, gritty, scent means so much to me. It is me. Because of it, my life is what it is and I would never trade that or go back and change it.