Work Hard, Dress Smart.

I don't normally post on Thursdays, but today was a pretty good day, so why not? I'm window shopping on Amazon, which is something I usually reserve for purses, shoes, and watches, but today is different. Today I am totally looking at power suits. Yes, you read that right, I am looking at all things business professional. After years of working in the finance realm, I enjoy a pair of good quality, reasonably priced slacks, and the hunt is always challenging finding said slacks.

When I was a little girl growing up in the 90's, everything was all about girl power (thank you Spice Girls), so obviously I imagined myself as some big shot businesswoman with a corner office, a $200 haircut, and a wardrobe so sharp it would make you scream "owe!" when I walked by. This was also partly influenced by my mother who was a big shot businesswoman. Except, back then, I saw myself doing something with writing or music, and my mom worked for a rather successful trucking company (more on that later, because there is a hilarious story to go along with power clothing) so I was SO not going that route because it sounded boring. Anywho, I assumed by the time I was 25 I'd be a record label executive on Music Row, or an editor at some publishing firm in New York. And yet, here I sit, 25 years old, in a rocking arm chair I inherited from my grandmother, on my day off from my low man on the totem pole job, one town away from the one I grew up in, flat broke, and writing a blog on the iPad I could only afford because its cost was rolled into my tuition at the college I dropped out of.

Sounds depressing, right? Well you're wrong. Yeah, so I'm not where I assumed I'd be. But I didn't actually make the plans to get there when I was a kid. Now that I'm older, and less naïve, I realize being a top dog in any company at 25 years old is pretty freakin' rare, and takes so much more time and dedication than I had to give until recently. Also, those young professionals who did make it to the top early probably devoted their hard earned high school job cash to their wardrobe, and I didn't. I spent mine on cheap whiskey and take out, and one fire red designer handbag (That bag was life. I wish I still had it.)

I know you're wondering about that last sentence, hopefully not about the whiskey and take out, or the handbag part, trust me my mother was kept in the dark about those shenanigans, but seriously dressing the part is crucial. I went to high school with a kid we all swore would be president some day. This kid was hardly ever seen in anything but nicely pressed oxfords and creased jeans. Guess what, that guy turned out to be pretty darn successful as an adult. Why? Well he worked really hard, and he dressed very smart.

I watched a Ted Talk once about power posing and its impact on your confidence. Basically the speaker, Amy Cuddy, found through a study that standing in positions that symbolized power, you could increase your self confidence a little. Totally makes sense right? Well I wondered if the same went for dressing well, and I conducted my own little experiment through out my many interviews I've had in the last few months. And it works. I felt like I looked like I owned/belonged/was perfect for whatever position I was interviewing for, which made me more confident in my abilities, and made my interviews go as smooth as silk. Clearly I didn't get any of those jobs, but I did get recognition on my professionalism/humor, and my attire more than once. All of that inflated my already rather large ego to XXXL, and I have had even better interviews since. Dressing smarter also made me feel more comfortable with myself in front of total strangers who wanted to know every little detail about my work history, and a few details about my blog.

So I'm assuming there is a lot to be said about a person who dresses for the job all the time, and I'm wondering if I should start stocking up on power suits to aid in my efforts to the top. Which brings us back full circle to my window shopping on Amazon. My only problem is, who has the cash to drop on a slick suit, and then pay to get it altered? I certainly don't...not yet at least.

Alex Laments. Episode 522.

Well hello, Dear Reader. Fancy meeting you here...I really shouldn't say that. I'm not entirely sure what it means, and obviously you're here because you read, and you like reading what I write. Soooo...

I believe some time ago I had promised I would write more when things calmed down in my life. Unfortunately my life has just gotten crazier and crazier. I finished out my last term in school for the year, in August, while working full time. That was, um, fun? But I did it, and I finished with like a 3.6 GPA. So pat me on the back and tell me I'm special. Because I am special, dammit. Now I'm working all the time. No seriously, like 6 days a week. That has not been fun. But it is necessary. There is hope on the horizon though. My employer has hired more staff, so I shouldn't be at work all the time anymore, and I've been working the job market a little. Pimping out my resume, if you will.

Wait, can you pimp out a resume that isn't impressive? Isn't that the point of putting your goods on the street? Because they're impressive and everyone wants them? I have no idea. My milkshakes DO NOT bring all the boys to the yard, so I'm probably going about this all wrong.

...anyway...I've been searching for gainful employment. Which basically means I've been thinking about how I wish I could work part time while receiving benefits and getting paid at least $1000.00 per hour. #realisticlifesgoal #igotsem. Obviously that is not going to happen. But I really have been considering what to do next, and what will be beneficial in my career path. I think I mentioned before that I had previously been majoring in surgical technology, because I couldn't afford the nursing program, but when the school announced it was closing I decided to pursue a creative writing degree? I still want to do that, but my heart is very much people oriented, and I need face to face interaction with folks to survive. I love people. So I've been tossing around majoring in healthcare admin or maybe a business focus of some sort, and minoring in writing. I mean, I've got to brush up my composition skills if I'm ever going to publish something note worthy. I still need to remind my brothers that I am better than they are and that I'm famous, and they're just butt faces. So a minor in creative writing is important. But trying to figure out my actual career path is hard. My heart  wants to be a healer, my wallet wants to be full, and my soul wants something that has family friendly hours. It's been a rather large task weighing the benefits and downfalls of everything, but doing so has made me realize just how much I really need more balance in my life.

I have NEVER been a balanced person. I zoom from one extreme to the next. I'm a workaholic and I prefer to always be busy. So when I started my current job, of course I offered to step up and work myself in to perpetual sickness (no really, since I started I've caught illness after illness, along with the majority of my coworkers). While this personality trait was a blessing before I had my daughter, it is now a curse. It leaves no room for family life, but it does improve the quality of the little bit of time we get together. The TV is playing more music, and we are all spending our time together instead of vegging out in front of Bob's Burgers re-runs. I just need and want to be home more. I'm missing out on so much. 

This time last year I was waking up to watch the sunrise and drink coffee while Robbie slept peacefully in bed. I was spending afternoons snuggling and playing with my little love. I was cooking every recipe I could get my hands on, and baking a new treat on the weekends. I didn't place enough value on those moments then. I knew they wouldn't last forever, but I didn't realize just how much I would miss them once they were gone. Now I am gone before Robbie or Cameron are awake in the mornings. I get home in just enough time to slap together dinner and spend maybe half an hour playing before it's time to go to bed. There is no meal made out of love. There is no baking. The sunrise is viewed in my rear view mirror. There is no rocking my girl or playing tea party with her. It's a strange place to be in. It isn't miserable. It is just unsatisfying. 

Which is sort of ironic, because this time has taught me so much about myself I didn't know. It has somehow made me into a better mother, a better person, a better student, a better employee, and strengthened my soul and my faith. I find myself almost admiring my growth. I am proud of who I am. 

I just want to enjoy who I've become with the ones I love more. 

So now I'm facing a very the very large project of making a path that will allow me to soak in those special moments again. I have no idea how or where to start, but I am going to make it happen. Some way, some how, I will get that balance that I need between career and family, and I will continue to grow.