Are We There Yet?

Traveling with a baby is no easy feat. When they're little, like first born little, it's pretty simple. Pack the diaper bag, make sure they are fed/changed/clothed, loaded into car seat, put the car seat in the car, and you're off. But then they get to being more alert. Which basically means, if the kid was already awake when you started on your trip, they just might stay awake the whole time, or if they weren't, the minute you start to put them into the car seat, their sweet little eyes fill with fire, their legs and arms find a way to connect with your face, and the crying starts. Then it's a gamble on if the baby will stay calm and sleep, or will turn into Reagan from the Exorcist when you get to where ever you're going.

My little one enjoys car rides, just not the seat. Sometimes I get lucky and she sleeps through the whole ordeal. But usually that's not the case. Today I waited until she was fed and changed, but still awake, to put her in the car seat. My reasoning was, "It's almost nap time. She's tired. Maybe she won't fight me, and once she's in there and in the car she will fall asleep.". Boy, was I wrong.

There were only a few cries, mostly from me. She's recently learned she can make noise other than cry, so it was mostly "AHHHK!" "AHHHK!" from her, and a few good sobs and some "Why won't you just let me put your arm through this strap?!" 's. There were minimal slaps to my face as well. But then, in typical vindictive baby fashion, she pooped. So I had to extract her from the buckles and straps, change her, and then wrestle nine pounds of furry back into the car seat. Once we were in the car, she quieted down, and but was awake for the whole ride.

Then we got to our destination.

This is a whole new can of worms.

As I type I'm listening to her cry because: *from her point of view* 1.) I'm tired and Mom spoiled me by holding me until I fell asleep and now I think I always have to be held and she's not holding me. 2.) The ceiling fan isn't on. 3.) My Grandpa's TV isn't HD, so I can't watch Reba reruns and see Van in the way God intended. 4.) Because. That's why.

Every trip to, well anywhere, goes about the same. We get there, she either wakes up, or was already awake, looks around, decides she doesn't like it, and commences on the pea soup puking, head spinning all the way around, "God isn't here today, Priest." crap. It can be pretty alarming, you know when your month old baby sits up from the pallet on the floor, looks at you, and then her head goes ALL.THE.WAY.AROUND and starts speaking in multiple languages all at once. It also tends to scare who ever it is you're visiting, but it's a good party trick if you're entertaining.

Eventually she'll fall asleep, and go back to looking like the perfect little angel that she normally is. Then I'll be able to get some work done. Or if we're visiting someone, they'll start going on about how she's such a good baby (which she is usually), and how beautiful she is, and wow, she has so much hair. I like that part. My kid is freaking adorable. It's funny how long eyelashes, and pretty, long dark hair on a baby can erase all memories of the unholy terror that said baby was just being.

 And don't worry, she doesn't really spew pea soup. We don't eat pea soup in my house. When it's time to go home, I'll have to fight her all over again. Then when we get home, I'll make up for it by letting her watch Big Bang Theory with me, and all will be right again...until we have go somewhere.