Do You Believe In Life After Pregnancy?

Life before pregnancy was pretty awesome. And now that I am no longer pregnant it's even more awesome. But while I was pregnant, life was terrible. And being miserable the entire time you're pregnant is THE BEST birth control. No more kids for this girl!

Anyway. Before pregnancy I was a very active, routine person. Always on the move, and home life was pretty structured. My life was planned to the freaking minute. An exact science. Not intentionally, I just did the same thing so often, that that's just what happened. 

I did go out quite often though. I like the bar, and I like to dance. I can two step and swing pretty well if I do say so myself. And there's no competition on the floor for my wobble. That is a dance, not my gait as I felt the bar. I also enjoyed fishing, riding fourwheelers, and drinking many redbulls every day. In the big cans. Ya know, the 20 oz cans. Yep. I'm surprised I didn't die of a heart attack too.

Then I got pregnant. I could no longer drink energy drinks, or tequila. I had no energy to dance. And it was too cold to go fishing or ride fourwheelers (I hate cold weather and it was fall/winter.). So I just slept. All the time. And read lots of books. And caught like 15 freaking colds. Which sucked because I couldn't take anything for them.

Then spring came. My blood pressure decided it needed to go through the roof which kept me from doing much, and I smashed my right big toe with a board. That was fun. I for real fell over crying and screaming. It hurt so bad that I also threw up. Normally I handle pain well, but this probably broke my toe. No, it probably shattered it. I developed what I now call "thunder toe". The smashing made my toe stay swollen and misshapen, hence "thunder toe".

Shortly after that I swelled to an unrecognizable form of Alex. I mean I gained like 20-30 pounds in water weight in maybe 3 weeks. I didn't even look human. My chin had chins had chins. But those chins made for fabulous snapchat pictures to my coworkers while I should have been working, but sat in the back on my phone. According to the receptionist at my doctor's office, I looked completely different. She didn't recognize me at my 6 week postpartum appointment. 

Also, my weren't feet at this point. They were like stumps where my feet had been. Sweet grandmother's spatula they were swollen. Did you know your feet could get stretch marks? Yea, me neither.

I'm pretty sure the month of May had about 5,000 days in it. And then the first 18 days of June were like doubled in length. Finally, June 19th came, I went in to be induce and scared myself into labor before the could start my pitocin drip (I'm not a fan of IV's so I had a freak out. Ironic for someone who has tattoos and piercings to not handle a large needle going into a tiny vein in your hand.) My labor was awful, however delivery went perfectly, but that's a story for another blog.

Now my sweet little is here, the swelling went down after a couple of weeks, and my blood pressure started coming down last week. I've also lost a few pounds of the actual weight I gained, because I Zumba my saggy stretch marked butt off everyday. 

I haven't returned to redbull consumption, but I have endulged in a few mixed drinks and a full day on a super fast bike on dirt road with no helmet, because I'm super smart like that. All that miserable was worth it though. And some of it is pretty funny to look back on. I guess there really is life after pregnancy.